|Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone
||[Aug. 27th, 2006|09:47 pm]
How can you change the path your life is on? I spent my drive home from the library reflecting on what was going on today, yesterday, this past week, this past month. This can't be my life. This can't be it. I can't continue to ride these waves for an indefinite amount of time. |
I need to set up a game plan--a plan for getting the hell out of this house. I need my sanity back. I want to feel what it's like to be happy, less stressed, less pissed. I don't think I'm overreacting or "showing my butt." It's my damn food, I bought it, I put it in a special place, please don't eat it. Is that too much to ask? Don't offer to cook me food if you're just going to let it burn. Don't offer to iron my shirt and make me get out the board, plug the iron in, and put the shirt on the board if you're going to shower instead. Don't offer to pick something up from the grocery for me if you're not going to get it. And please, for the love of God, don't give me an apathetic apology about it. I don't want your words. I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS AND IF YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO IT, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO OFFER. Please stop kicking me out of every room I'm in because you want to use the room. You don't get dibs, you don't get to push me around, you don't get to make me feel like shit. I'm overly sensitive so pissing me off hurts more than you can imagine.
So I'm going on a budget. I'm going to start calling apartments. If I have to garage sale shop for silverware, plates, and other necessities, I will. I just know if I stay here I'll do something I will later regret.
Why are we pushed away and alienated when we need people the most?